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B E L L W E T H E R E X E C U T I V E S E A R C H , I N C .

bellwether \ 'bel-'we-[th]&r \ n: one that takes the lead or initiative: LEADER; also : an indicator of trends.

An Engineer's Guide to Cat Yodeling (With Cat Polka)

Some Humorous Observations About Engineers
(from an anonymous source)

Fascination With Gadgets
To the engineer, all matter in the universe can be placed into one of two categories:

things that need to be fixed, and

things that will need to be fixed after you've had a few minutes to play with them.

Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems. Normal people don't understand this concept; they believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.

Honesty
Engineers are always honest in matters of technology and human relationships. That's why it's a good idea to keep engineers away from customers, romantic interests, and other people who can't handle the truth.
Engineers sometimes bend the truth to avoid work. They say things that sound like lies but technically are not because nobody could be expected to believe them. The complete list of engineer lies is listed below.

"I won't change anything without asking you first."
"I'll return your hard-to-find cable tomorrow."
"I have to have new equipment to do my job."
"I'm not jealous of your new computer."
"I do not have a problem with Radio Shack".

Dating and Social Life
Dating is never easy for engineers. A normal person will employ various indirect and duplicitous methods to create a false impression of attractiveness. Engineers are incapable of placing appearance above function. Fortunately, engineers have an ace in the hole. They are widely recognized as superior marriage material: intelligent, dependable, employed, honest, and handy around the house. While it's true that many normal people would prefer not to date an engineer, most normal people harbor an intense desire to mate with them, thus producing engineer-like children with big-paying jobs. Male engineers reach their peak of attractiveness later than normal men, becoming irresistible dynamos in their mid thirties to late forties. Just look at these examples of completely irresistible men in technical professions: Bill Gates, MacGyver, etc. Female engineers become irresistible upon attaining their degree and remain that way for life.

Risk
Engineers hate risk. They try to eliminate it whenever they can. This is understandable, given that when an engineer makes one little mistake, the media will treat it like it's a big deal or something.

Examples of bad press for engineers:
Hindenburg, Space Shuttle Challenger, Apollo 13, Titanic, Ford Pinto.

The risk/reward calculation for engineers looks something like this:
RISK: Public humiliation and the death of thousands of innocent people.
REWARD: A certificate of appreciation in a handsome plastic frame. Being practical people, engineers evaluate this balance of risks and rewards and decide that risk is not a good thing.

Please feel free to send us your observations about engineers. If you don't have any, ask someone close to you for a few hints. Info@bellwether-us.com

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